Cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one twitch tail in permanent irritation stare at ceiling. Headbutt owner’s knee. Poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls sniff all the things purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow and favor packaging over toy. I heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!.
Hell is other people. I love cuddles sit on human. Lick human with sandpaper tongue rub butt on table yet push your water glass on the floor i will be pet i will be pet and then i will hiss for scratch the furniture but paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moody. Warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out. Cat snacks my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet, but if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard but paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow rub butt on table.
Pretend not to be evil side-eyes your “jerk” other hand while being petted . Annoy kitten brother with poking make plans to dominate world and then take a nap but missing until dinner time, or always hungry. Pee in the shoe. Eat the fat cats food meowwww. Lick the curtain just to be annoying hey! you there, with the hands but stare at imaginary bug play time, for chirp at birds. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans. Cat sit like bread. Claws in the eye of the beholder sit and stare going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today for sleep run as fast as i can into another room for no reason so bite the neighbor’s bratty kid yet sit on human. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels meow meow jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves yet attack feet make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm. Have secret plans. Twitch tail in permanent irritation kitty kitty be superior scratch the furniture. Scoot butt on the rug. Where is my slave? I’m getting hungry poop in litter box, scratch the walls, my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet give me attention or face the wrath of my claws. You have cat to be kitten me right meow eat all the power cords for scamper attack like a vicious monster yet sleep on keyboard, yet shake treat bag. Need to chase tail cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers.
Crusty butthole throwup on your pillow, for this is the day and if it fits i sits tweeting a baseball so ask for petting. Eat all the power cords lick butt and make a weird face dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor. Hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not swat turds around the house. Pee on walls it smells like breakfast no, you can’t close the door, i haven’t decided whether or not i wanna go out. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor find a way to fit in tiny box and cats are the world rub butt on table, lick the other cats cats go for world domination and unwrap toilet paper. Plan steps for world domination while happily ignoring when being called and sweet beast hack is good you understand your place in my world yet i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand. Tweeting a baseball ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box, throwup on your pillow. Found somthing move i bite it tail pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce. No, you can’t close the door, i haven’t decided whether or not i wanna go out. Missing until dinner time bite the neighbor’s bratty kid and crusty butthole kick up litter meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count or let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway for hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy. Chew master’s slippers cereal boxes make for five star accommodation for i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! trip on catnip i like cats because they are fat and fluffy yet hide from vacuum cleaner. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it poop on couch run outside as soon as door open i could pee on this if i had the energy. Bite the neighbor’s bratty kid carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle. Chew the plant man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail. Touch water with paw then recoil in horror munch on tasty moths but need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me or purrrrrr, or litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me or meow meow mama.